How to Save Your Marriage: Tips from a Wife Who Almost Got Divorced

My husband Jude and I got married about 15 years ago. We’re just like any other couple—we started out with passionate romance, and then a few years into the marriage, things had started to fizzle out. A lot of huge fights ensued that later led to a physical separation that almost led to a divorce. A few settlement meetings and some counselling sessions later, we slowly picked up the pieces again until things got a little steadier.

How we survived our relationship ordeal? We worked hard to rebuild our relationship. For couples out there whose relationships are starting to fall apart, I’d like to share some tips from my experience going through pains and heartbreaks of a messy marriage.

1. Prevent ego from taking over your marriage

Usually, fights between spouses happen because of ego clashes. When egos are hurt, people take a defensive stance by hurting the offending party through harsh words or worse, physical attack.

Find the right timing for discussing your differences and problems regarding your relationship. Marriage involves a lot of adjustments, and that includes making some compromises so that you and your partner can meet halfway.

2. Give yourselves some breather

Does separation save a marriage, you might wonder. It can save your marriage as long as you do it correctly. Separation can be more of an advantage for troubled couples because they tend to take their partner for granted until he or she is far away.

If you feel the situation is beyond control, try living separately for a short time. You may take a trip alone or with friends for a few days or weeks. But while you are away, keep your communication lines open. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? And when you reunite, accept your partner wholeheartedly.

3. Sizzle up your love life

Boredom strikes at any point in your married. Why not rekindle the kind of romance you and your partner once had? Go on dates more often. Surprise your loved one with a special dinner. Even a simple note that says “I love you” can definitely make your day, right?